Silk
by Moonchild10
Summary: 2DxMurdoc fluff. 2D knows that all good things must inevitably come to an end, but he's not ready to lose Murdoc just yet. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Gorillaz.**

**This is just a short one, but it was fun to do. **

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"Best two out of three," Murdoc said idly, brandishing his cigarette like a torch and giving 2D a ridiculous smile across the few inches of Egyptian silk bedlinen that separated the two of them. Normally, 2D would have giggled at this random comment and curled himself around the bassist, pressing his face into his neck and letting Murdoc's hands caress him in response. But this morning was different.

In many respects, it was just like any other morning. Noodle was probably in the kitchen, helping Russel make pancakes. The zombies were probably wandering aimlessly in the bunker, moaning and searching for living flesh to devour. And just like any other morning, Murdoc and 2D lay naked in Murdoc's bed in the Winnebago, the purple silk blanket pulled up just enough to keep their legs and feet warm in the early morning air, bathing in afterglow. But this morning, 2D was in a different mindset than usual altogether. He lay silently beside Murdoc, shooting him a weak smile at his randomness and staring up at the Winnebago ceiling. Murdoc was talking, and he had been doing so for several minutes when 2D finally realized that words were coming out of his companion's mouth and tuned in.

"And so I figured maybe we could play Hongkongaton instead of Dirty Harry, since Bootie won't be in town for another three months. I'm sure the audience wouldn't mind _too_ much, especially if you take your shirt off."

2D nodded absently, letting his eyes slide over every line of Murdoc's exposed body, right to where he disappeared under the silk just below his knobby hips. Murdoc, despite his charismatic charm, wasn't even all that good-looking. 2D tried to tell himself this whenever he was even slightly displeased with the way things had turned out. He would tell himself that Murdoc wasn't all that irresistible, and that if he wanted, he could refuse to respond to his touches, to the way his ridiculously long tongue slid slowly over his skin, to those sinister, maniacal grins that made him hot and breathy whenever he was on the other end of one. He would tell himself that this thing with Murdoc was strictly just a fling that they could stop at any time. They only fucked when it was convenient for Murdoc, and 2D always tried to believe that it was always Murdoc's fault when they ended up against the wall of the Winnebago with their hands exploring each other frantically, or when a simple passing in a corridor could turn into a blinding, passionate kiss.

But the truth was (and 2D knew it all too well), that Murdoc _was _attractive, Murdoc _was _irresistible, and 2D was helpless to refuse him. He knew he would never be able to stop this thing they had, and if he could, he wouldn't want to. And, more often than not, it was 2D who would come up behind Murdoc to slip his hands into his back pockets and whisper some random, dirty thing against the back of his neck that he could never imagine being bold enough to say to anyone else. Murdoc was (and had been since 2D was eighteen years old) a professional, experienced lover who knew exactly what his singer wanted every time they touched. He remembered that first time, barely a month after they had acquired Kong, that first time when they had been cleaning the interior of the place, that Murdoc had reached for him, pressing their mouths forcefully together, that warm, terrible tongue pressing into his mouth and shocking away all resistance. And then, the hot, messy sex that had followed, sprawled in the middle of the tangle of blankets that had served as Murdoc's bed at the time. At the time, 2D had been by no means a virgin, and it was the most awkward, dirty, and amazing sex he had ever had in his life. And as time went on, they gained experience, they gained grace, and they became experts at pleasing each other. They never had any kind of _relationship_. It was just sex. Frequent and passionate sex, yes, but just sex all the same. In fact, it hadn't even stopped him from dating Paula…

Paula. 2D cringed, not so much in remembrance of what _had_ happened with her but of what _was_ happening at the moment. 2D and Murdoc had continued their torrid affair even into the depths of his relationship with Paula. He hadn't honestly been bothered all that much by the fact that Paula fucked Murdoc. Hell, _he_ was fucking Murdoc, so why should he expect any less from her? Contrary to rumors and even most official biographies he'd had the displeasure of reading, he and Paula had parted on good terms. Russel had not understood the situation and broken Murdoc's nose, that much was true, but Paula didn't leave until a few months later, and that was due to the fact that she didn't feel like she fit what the band was looking for. She had been, after all, merely a guitarist on a trial run to see if she would join the band officially. And she and 2D had broken things off, agreeing that neither of them felt the same anymore. They had actually remained friends over the years. And so none of what had happened in that sense bothered him.

What did bother him was Murdoc.

Over the ten years that he and Murdoc had been fucking around, both of them had seen countless girls. Hell, 2D had shagged so many of them that he sometimes forgot what time of day it was. But through all these years, he had never seen Murdoc look at any of them like he looked at Paula. It was that look that 2D wanted reserved all for himself, that look that contained actual emotion. It was a look that made 2D's stomach clench whenever he saw it directed toward Paula. Murdoc had been shagging Paula on and off since that first time Russel had caught them in the showers years ago, just as he had been with 2D. The two of them were Murdoc's only long-term lovers, the only thing that went beyond one-night-stands.

And now, as time progressed, those looks that Murdoc gave Paula became more and more frequent whenever she came to pay a visit. 2D would sit and talk to Paula, chatting for hours about nothing, and he enjoyed it immensely, but underneath it all he knew that slowly, the two of them would have to become adversaries. He didn't know if Paula fancied Murdoc or not (she was notorious for her lack of preference with sex), but it scared him all the same. He was starting to think that maybe Paula and Murdoc would turn their affair into an actual relationship. And then where would 2D be? 2D tried to believe that when he looked at Murdoc with that desperate love in his eyes that he couldn't conceal, that Murdoc's eyes held it too. He tried to pretend that Murdoc loved him and needed him as much as 2D did Murdoc.

But deep down, he knew that Murdoc didn't love him, Murdoc only used him for sex, and if Murdoc loved anyone, it was Paula. The thought of Murdoc and Paula beginning a relationship terrified him, because 2D knew that Murdoc would have no use for him if he had an actual girlfriend who would shag him anytime he wanted. And then 2D would never have Murdoc again. These days he was quiet and preoccupied, trying to soak up and absorb what could be the last weeks or even days of what he and Murdoc shared. And he knew Murdoc noticed it. Murdoc was very perceptive of his vocalist's needs, onstage, in bed, and everywhere in between. But Murdoc didn't say anything about it. Maybe he didn't want to bring up unpleasant subjects. Or maybe he just didn't care.

And so it was that everything that morning was different. Every motion, every word, every glance they shared, 2D felt the difference. The subtle changes lumped together and formed differences that were too large to ignore, like lumpy black sacks of garbage blocking the way in a one-way street. As the two of them lay there, 2D breathed in Murdoc's presence like oxygen, feeding off of the bassist's warmth just inches away from him and taking in that strangely beautiful face as Murdoc talked to him, nudged him when he laughed, and smiled at him. When Murdoc smiled- not just that sadistic, devilish grin, but _really_ smiled- his entire face would seem to change, and 2D would swear he could feel it giving off sunrays. It made him look so much younger, and he couldn't help but return the smile with a little more sincerity than earlier when he saw it.

"Are you alright?" Murdoc asked finally after the two had lay there engaged in weak conversation for nearly half an hour. His hand traveled slowly across 2D's hair, stroking the silken blue locks tenderly, and the feeling made 2D smile but brought about a certain kind of melancholy, because he knew that this was all to end in the near future. The vocalist shook his head, avoiding the eyes of his lover.

"No… nofink' is wrong," he lied softly, his eyes focused intently on the black hairs that grew in a little patch in the center of Murdoc's chest. "I'm jus' a little… tired today."

"Like hell you're tired," Murdoc said, sitting up and pinning the singer down against the bed, getting far less resistance from him than usual. "We had a damn good fuck this morning, Tusspot. If that's you tired, I'd like to see you shag when you're stuffed full of caffeine pills."

2D sighed in frustration. "That's just it, Muds… it's all just… sex with you."

The bassist looked confused, shifting his weight slightly and peering down at his singer. "What'd'ye mean?" he asked.

2D looked away from him. "Nofin'…" he said.

"C'mon, tell me what's wrong, eh?" Murdoc asked him, voice softer than normal as he leaned down a little farther, the tip of his nose brushing 2D's. "I won't bite." 2D looked up at him, and then looked away again.

"Nofin's wrong, Muds. Let's jus' forget it, okay?" he tried to get away from Murdoc's grip, but Murdoc wouldn't budge.

"Oh come on… if my favorite lover won't tell me anything, how can I trust the rest of the world?" Murdoc asked with a chuckle, tickling 2D's armpit.

"I'm not your favorite lover!" it came out before he even knew it was forming in his mind. "Paula is!"

Murdoc was shocked into silence. He sat back, letting 2D up staring at him as though he'd never quite seen him before. 2D sat up slowly, looking into Murdoc's eyes, facing him with empty, black holes. "2D-"

"You only want me when you can't have her!" and suddenly, the tears were coming, hot and acrid, tears that he hadn't wanted to show before, but there was no going back now. They poured down his cheeks, and he didn't know how to stop them, or the jumble of words that were pouring from his mouth. "All we ever do is fuck around, and it's never serious! It's never anything else, and I don't really mean anything to you! I've been in love with you for almost ten fucking years, and I'm not even anything but another hole to you!" he wiped at the tears, but they came back, and he let them. He let his head hang then, allowing the end of his speech to become more of a pathetic moan than actual words. "All I've ever wanted was for us to be together… really together… but that can never happen because… because you want Paula. And now it's all going to end… and I can't do anything to stop it."

Murdoc was silent, and 2D cried in silence for a moment, feeling stupid and ashamed for showing Murdoc his tears when he damn well knew that it wasn't going to make a difference. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder, and didn't know quite what to make of it. And then Murdoc was pulling him against him, encircling him in his arms in an embrace that was uncharacteristically tender.

"Is that really what ye' think?" Murdoc asked into 2D's hair as his hand traced delicate patterns on 2D's bare back, stroking the pale skin with his fingertips. "That that's all you are to me?" 2D nodded blearily, weary from crying and from the stress of the past few weeks, incapable of caring about anything for a moment. Murdoc lifted 2D's head carefully, wiping away his tears with his knuckles, and stared straight into those blank eye sockets. "Look, Stu, I love ye'," he said fiercely, bringing their foreheads together. "And if you think I'd ever give you up for _anyone_, then you've never _been_ more wrong."

Cautiously, 2D opened his eyes and looked into Murdoc's, hunting for a catch, a cruel joke, any insincerity whatsoever. He saw none, only those eyes, staring straight back at him, full of emotions that 2D had never seen in them before. And he could see himself reflected in Murdoc's eyes, staring back at himself tearfully from the only place he had ever felt he belonged.

"D'you…d'you mean that?" he asked carefully, trying not to let his voice shake. Murdoc pulled back slightly so that 2D could see his entire face, and smiled.

"Of course I mean it," Murdoc told him, more sincere than 2D had ever heard him sound, and he couldn't help but think that he had never seen him this kind and gentle. He hadn't even been aware that Murdoc was capable of the kinds of words that were coming out of his mouth. "All these years… sure, I was jes' fucking around at first, but after a while it got… more complicated than that." His hand cupped 2D's cheek. "I do love you, though… even if I _am_ shitty at showing it." he gave a helpless shrug, his old essential Murdoc-ness coming back and the few moments of gushiness disappearing. He turned away to light a cigarette, and when he turned back, 2D was fixing him with an aching expression. Sighing softly, Murdoc stubbed out the cigarette on the mattress, and 2D pounced on him, knocking him backward in a whirlwind of fierce joy, hands stroking the dingy black hair and rough face.

"I love you, Murdoc," he whispered with more conviction than he had ever felt in his life. And Murdoc smiled, closing the gap between their lips, and let their worlds collide once more between those silk sheets.


End file.
